The Biblical Ouija Board and Magic Eightball

Did you know the righteous cast lots to find out God's will? Is this not unlike consulting a Ouija board? Instead of a Ouija board they used something called an Urim and a Thummin. These are referred to as casting lots or consulting the Lord. This really shows how superstitious based judeo-christian faith is. The priest from the days of Moses carried these divination tools on their sacred breastplate as they went before the Lord in the holy temple. And apparently everyone had a copy.

Leviticus, chapter 18. Moses is getting information from God on what to do for the Day Of Atonement, Yom Kippur. First Aaron is to kill a bull for himself and his family. The he gets two goats (no blemishes please) and cast lots to decide which one is sacrificed and which one is the scapegoat who carries their sins out of the camp to the desert. Killing one ain't enough. So, is God in charge of every roll of the dice?

Proverbs 16:33

The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD.

Oh, so He does. Well then why does He alway favor the house?

Joshua, chapter 18. God's chosen people have finally entered the promised land and they need to divide up the land amongst the tribes. Joshua gets a tad irritated because they haven't taken care of it. So he sends out 3 men from each tribe to survey the land. Now this is the promised land and one would expect God to have had specifics where he wanted them to be. He does have His favorites after all. But not a word. Joshua decides "I will cast lots for you in the presence of the LORD our God." A roll of the dice when you cannot wait for God to wake up and talk to you.

1 Samuel, chapter 14 The first king of Israel, Saul, went to war against the Philistines. He told his troops to not eat anything while they were killing. (What the hell was his problem?). However, his son Jonathan didn't hear this and after being a major reason for the winning of the battle found some honey and ate it. A fellow warrior told him at that point of his father's command. This ultimately got back to Saul and he demanded to know who had "sinned". The men didn't want to rat out Jonathan because they liked him. So Saul prayed to the god of the dice (lots) and cast them. It ultimately led to Jonathan. Saul said "May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if you do not die, Jonathan". Oaths in the OT invariably start with that first phrase. Who knows if God would even care? Fortunately the men spoke up for Jonathan and cooled down Saul from his now worthless oath. Why do we need truth serums and torture, when casting lots is far more effective?

Acts, chapter 1 Judas after betraying Christ either went back to the temple throwing the money back to the priests and hung himself (Matt 27:5-8) or used the money, buying a field and fell to his death there (Acts 1:18-19). But the Bible does not contradict itself, mind you. Anyway either way it left a position opened in the apostleship. There were two applicants, Barsabbas (aka Justus) and Matthias. They prayed to God for help. Seems like another important decision that God could have provided his holy opinion on, but oh well. However, by now we know God controls the flip of every coin, the roll of every dice. It is not like evolution, it is random. The lot fell to Matthias thus leaving Barsabbas as the Pete Best of the apostles.

Ask the Magic EightBall a question for yourself?

I asked this question once and got my answer.