Bridegroom Of Blood

The Bible's second book called Exodus is the story of Moses and how he led his people out of Egypt. Moses was found by Pharoah's daughter in a river and she took him as her own while conveniently finding Moses's real mother who nursed him. Moses grew up in the house of Pharoah, but he knew he was a Hebrew and felt this need to save them. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew and Moses killed the Egyptian. Later he saw two Hebrews fighting and told them to stop. One of them said "Who made you ruler over us? Are you going to kill me like you did the Egyptian?". This freaked him out so he ran away to live in Midian.

Times passes. He gets married to Zipporah. Then one day he was tending his father-in-law's (Jethro) flock. He sees a bush burning and then God calls out to him from the bush. God lets Moses in on His plan that He will use him to lead his people out of Egypt. Moses is reluctant. So God gives Moses some magical tricks. First trick is He tells Moses to throw down his staff and in doing so it turns into a snake which scares Moses, but God tells him to pick it up by the tail and it turns back to a staff. Second trick is God tells him to put his hand inside his cloak and then pull it out. His hand now is gross, it looks like leprosy. He tells Moses to put it back in and pull it out. All better. Third trick is to take some water from the Nile and pour it on dry ground. It will turn to blood. Moses may be impressed but he still is worried because he has some speech impediment. So God agrees to use Aaron as Moses' mouthpiece.

God spent a lot of time preparing Moses for His divine plan and God surely must know the future. Seems God would be real good at having all his ducks in a row.

Moses tells his father-in-law he needs to go back to Egypt. Jethro (Bodeen?) wishes him well. God again speaks to Moses and said "Everyone is dead who would harm you, go back to Egypt and when you get there do all the great tricks. And even though I have given you all these neat tricks to impress Pharaoh he will not believe you because I, God Jehovah, have harden his heart". Oy! What a game. God even up front tells Moses to threaten Pharoah in that God will kill Pharoah's own firstborn son because he will not let God's first born child, Israel, go. So, Moses with family and friends in tow sets out for Egypt. Appears the divine plan is now in play.

Immediately without explanation this is the next text:

Exodus 4:24-26

At a lodging place on the way, the LORD met [Moses] and was about to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched [Moses’] feet with it. “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me,” she said. So the LORD let him alone. (At that time she said “bridegroom of blood,” referring to circumcision.)

WHAT??? That is the entire story. The next text is Moses meeting his brother Aaron along the way and them kissing each other.

So, God didn't see that coming until Moses left? God blabs on and on and gives Moses all these tricks and His great divine plan to free His people. Was this an after-thought? Was God rehearsing in his mind all the stuff He meant to tell Moses and then went "Shit, I forgot about the circumcision thing" and rushed down to kill Moses? Wouldn't a friendly reminder at the burning bush have been sufficient? Bizarre. Apparently this God isn't all-knowing and a tad forgetful and instead of being pissed at Himself he takes it out on His dopey creation. Typical !

Anyway I think it would make a great band name. Ladies and Gentleman, give a great round of applause for the "Bridegroom Of Blood". Crowd roars "Yeahhh!!!!"