Crap. Jesus Is Coming Today.

Well, my prayers have been ineffectual. No frickin' sign that Jesus will delay his return til next weekend. My friends don't believe in this and would not adjust their party plan. To hell with them literally. I am sick of all these assholes that just don't take my needs into consideration.

Hmmmm....if Jesus didn't answer my prayer does that mean he is pissed at me? That's not good. Jesus I really didn't mean to get angry and all. By the blood of the Lamb I ask your forgiveness. Whew! That should take care of that.

Well, brace yourselves, any moment now, the nukes be coming, billions be dying and Jesus will stop all that shit personally today. Everything is gonna be all right. I will personal go up to Pastor Weinland and thank him for letting me know that Jesus was coming today. He prophesied that in 2008 by putting out his book. Is that amazing? Yeah! The rest of you can burn in hell. Ha! Ha! Ha!

God's Final Witness
Ronald Weinland Personal Blog