Saturday, April 28, 2012

Pray The Sick Away



Isn't living in modern times wonderful?

James 5:14-15
Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.

Sounds like voodoo don't it? Just chant a prayer and the guy is no longer sick. Judaism and Christian roots are in pagan religions where they chant things they wanted and offered blood sacrifices to their god. These religions just cleaned up the fairy tale a tad, not much.

Isn't more rational to put your hands together and wash them? More have been saved doing that.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Your Faith Shall Save You


The sick thing about Christianity is it says people are evil to the core. You must hate yourself to be saved. Your behavior does not count, only believing in Jesus and hating the sinner that you are. Meh.

Luke 14:25-27
Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Stalin And God


You know how annoying Christians are saying Stalin & Hitler were atheist. Here is an excellent turn to that argument. You know it is important to keep your eyes on God, that really is the point anyway.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Teach Creationism In Science Class Now!

Hey it is only fair!

Click on for readability

Santorum
The Science and Evolution movement have had too much say in public schools for too long. It's time to introduce discussion of creation theories along side them and let the students decide for themselves!

Muslim
We agree finally we can teach creation based on the word of the prophet Muhammad and of Allah!

Hindu
We can also finally teach students about reincarnation and Vishnu!

Wiccam
But you're not all based in the U.S.! We should tach evolution but explain how magic is universally involved!

Judaism
If you're gonna teach Genesis in public school, you must also teach book of the law.

Santorum
Yeah, no, weh have no plans to include your fake religious theories. We're a christian nation. There's no room for your beliefs here!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Dusting Off Religious Republicans

Dusty can be loud and will say variances of the word fuck and those are only two reasons we like him.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Bible Says "Women Shut Your Mouth"

Welcome
We love you
We hate you
We love you
We want you
We need you
We wish we were like you
They say you're a saint
You're a whore
You're a sinner
That he had you
He made you
He can't live without you
Would you confess if we asked
That you nurture the urge
To declare that it’s time
To settle down
With a man of your own
You want a baby
A family
A piece of security

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
Just shut your mouth

What's your opinion of the dire situation
In our land here
Our guest here
Of course you'll be nice here
How do you feel about God and religion
Are you good people
Bad people
Guess it doesn't matter people
Your place
My place
Make her bring that famous face
You got some
You want some
You wanna let me get you some
We know your music but of course we'd never buy it
It’s too fake man
Right man!
(We don't give a fucking damn)

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it

I hear you say it
Play it smart girl
Win the game love
Give’em what they want
What they want to see and you could be a big star
You could go far
Make a landmark
What have you been reading you smart girl?
Win the game love
Give’em what they want
What they want to see and you could be a big star
You could go far
Make a landmark
Make a shitload

And the world spins by
With everybody moaning
Pissing, bitching and everyone is shitting
On their friends
On their love
On their oaths
On their honor
On their graves
On their mouths
And their words say nothing

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
Just shut your mouth

I wanted to say something
Oh shut your mouth
I wanted to say something
Just shut your mouth
I wanted to say something
Oh shut your mouth
I wanted to be something
Just shut your mouth

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

E Pluribus Unum




E pluribus unum
Latin for "Out of many, one"—is a phrase on the Seal of the United States, along with Annuit cœptis and Novus ordo seclorum, and adopted by an Act of Congress in 1782. Never codified by law, E pluribus unum was considered a de facto motto of the United States until 1956 when the United States Congress passed an act (H.J. Resolution 396), adopting "In God We Trust" as the official motto.

In God We Trust has appeared sporadically on U.S. coins since 1864 and on paper currency since 1957. How did we survive the 100 years before? Why didn't Washington and Adams insist on making that our motto instead? Maybe lot of Unitarian, Episcopal and Deists saw the mess that Christianity did to Europe? Maybe fundamentalist was viewed as simply wrong.

The Right is re-"righting" history since 1956. We were in no sense a Christian nation per the Treaty Of Tripoli. We were secular allowing for all beliefs, even atheism. We were united in spite of and also because of our differences. That is what our forefathers created and guess who is trying hard to take that away. They love themselves some more Dark Ages.


Friday, April 6, 2012

Seven Days Without Prayer



Prayer is for continuing to delude yourself. Makes you strong in believing in an imaginary sky daddy. "Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief". If you have to keep deluding yourself doesn't that tell you this is simple bullshit?

Have you guilted yourself today because you have disbelief? Jesus is annoyed at you for not believing in him and frankly he is tired of you. I think that qualifies him as a petty god.


Mark 9:14-31
When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.

“What are you arguing with them about?” he asked.

A man in the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.”

“O unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.”

So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.

Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?”

“From childhood,” he answered. “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.”

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. “You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.”

The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.

After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer.”


Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Christianity Eviscerated


Christopher (miss him) cuts to the chase and cuts to the core problem of Christianity.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012